Field Marshal Tony Abbott

By September 29, 2017Australian Politics

I was going to call this item ‘Brigadier Abbott’ but Abbott’s narcissism would not permit him to accept such a lowly rank, should the armed forces allow him to command the invading battalions as they sweep across the Liverpool plains or southwestern Victoria, which he has suggested. This is to force those ungrateful farmers and other inhabitants to bow to the Government’s wish to lift the fracking and drilling moratoria in these states. However there is one tiny problem. The defence powers which Abbott recommends using are only to be used in time of a hot war1. The only wars on at present are mostly cold: firstly, the war between Abbott and his nemesis, Turnbull; secondly, the war between parliamentary climate change deniers and reality2; and thirdly, the war between bigotry and human rights3.

If the Government was not so deep in the pockets of the fossil fuel companies and their supporters, they would realise that the transient wealth that oil and gas can generate is minuscule compared to the wealth generated by agriculture. This is because, while we currently rely on oil and gas to generate some electricity and to power vehicles, its days are numbered. However, we rely on the food generated by farmers to survive, and that, hopefully, is a much longer term prospect.




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