Things have been a bit quiet on the blog for well over a week. That is mostly because I have been in hospital.
We arrived at the hospital at about 8:00 and I filled out all the assorted paperwork before being ushered into a waiting room. We were there for about 10 minutes until a gowned-up nurse came and took me to a change room to get into one of those gowns which is tied up at the back and flashes your arse to anyone who follows your progress. Fortunately, to prevent frightening the uninvolved locals, they give you another of these gowns to wear back to front so you don’t flash your arse. On top of this, they give you some paper undies to wear. These are tied at the sides looking like 1960s bikini bottoms tied at the sides. My lack of a waist still required me to hold them up with one hand as I walked. Then I went into another waiting room for a little while until another gowned-up nurse took me to a bed in the holding bay. There I waited for about 40 minutes as others in the bay were whisked away before me. When it was my turn, I was taken to the anaesthetist’s holding bay where a nurse came and checked who I was and what I was having done. After maybe 15 minutes in that room, the anaesthetist came in, put a cannula in my arm and injected a sedative of some sort. I asked him what it was and he told me that it was ‘Michael Jackson’s drug’. I feigned horror with an ‘oh dear!’, and he replied that ‘but he didn’t have a nice anaesthetist to look after him’. As the sedative took effect I noticed that my nervousness about what was to come decrease and I became much more relaxed.
After a while they wheeled me into the operating theatre and got me to sit up on the side of the bed while the anaesthetist jabbed me with what is termed an epidural. As he was doing it, I had excruciating shooting pains which felt like strong electric shocks or a powerful ache in my left leg. They then got me to lie down and as my legs and bum became numb, they must have increased the dosage of whatever else they put through the cannula, as I remember nothing from then on, which is probably just as well, considering they were ripping out my old left hip and replacing it with a metal one.